Being a people pleaser in my experience is tantamount to being a doormat. ‘Smile and Nod’ are your vocabulary… if you do this really well, everyone will like you, you will have friends that will stick like glue, and they’ll call you whenever they need something. Call them, and they will wonder who you are.

Now I’m not saying that pleasing others is a bad thing, ’cause it’s not. There are those of us who’ve learned that a true ‘people pleaser’ loses a sense of ones self. We will do just about anything to be loved, admired, and accepted by others. As time goes on, we kick ourselves for not being able to say no.

When the phone rings, we cover our ears and hide, and when someone knocks on the door, we pray that they didn’t hear the tv as we turn it off, and become very, very quiet. We breathe a sigh of relief when 5 minutes pass and all is quiet.

As a recovering people pleaser, I’ve learned that I’m just as important as the next gal, equally deserving of good things, and am developing the ability to be more open with my feelings, thoughts, etc. When something doesn’t sit right with me, I breathe a sigh of relief after I’ve said so in my rather gentle way… and the world didn’t come crashing down around me. Who-da thunk it!

Still it’s difficult to turn things around, one goes from jumping in with both feet, to being a bit cautious… ‘Let me get back to you on that’ becomes a shoe in for ‘Smile and Nod’. Doing things that please others is still important, but being true to oneself and most especially to God, is always best.

Somehow, I’m thinkin, if there were ever to be a support group, entitled “People Pleasers Anonymous”, more than half the country, would, or could, be in attendance.

©Sue Anderson, I.T.E ~ 2006 – 2013
Certifiably Silly & Positively Amazing TOO!
Certified WRAP Facilitator/Certified Peer Support Specialist
An-der-son-(S)hine, Silliness, Stories, Legends, Laughter & Love
By perseverance the snail reached the ark.  C.H. Spurgeon